It was a warm day and I was tired after clearing away the mess at home after the long weekend. Just as I was enjoying my cup of black tea, my younger son stormed in from school. He was fuming; my little boy was red in the face. Before I asked him, he went on, Mom, “I am polite to people, why are they rude?” “Why can’t they apologise when they make mistakes?” I put down my cup of tea, made him sit close to me and explained that apologising is an art. My little boy was all ears and I was only eager to share my learning’s with him.

I made myself a fresh cup of tea and gave him some chocolate cookies to eat. As he munched on them looking thoughtful, I told him that apologising need not be an ordeal. It is possible to apologise without looking shamefaced or embarrassed. I could see that my little boy was curious. Mistakes are an inevitable part of our lives and everyone makes them. But it is important to apologise if you have done something wrong. Apologising is important for your peace of mind for it sets you free. When an incident hangs heavily on your head can you be at peace? Some people hurt others as they want to get back at them. This deliberate action of hurting others may give them a sense of achievement and pride albeit for a short while.

So what is the right way of apologising then? There is no fixed way but when it is done without leaving any traces of guilt or shame, it is most certainly the right way. Sunaina was a topper in her school and everyone was in awe of her. Vineeta was also good in studies but was not amongst the toppers. During an assessment, both of them were paired together. Sunaina was confident of her knowledge and Vineeta was sure of her skills. As the assessment commenced, Sunaina began to dominate Vineeta and insisted that she follow her instructions as she knew more. Vineeta was polite with Sunaina throughout the duration of the test. And soon their teamwork won them the first place after which Sunaina was a changed person. She came up to Vineeta and said “Vineeta I am glad we worked together today. Being a topper had made me over confident and arrogant towards most people. I remember snapping at you throughout the test, but you never retaliated even once which only infuriated me further. Had you not kept your peace, we would have lost today.” Now, this is the way Sunaina apologised to Vineeta. There is no shame, embarrassment or guilt in this entire conversation. Facts were stated clearly which made it possible for both the people to make peace and move on.

One does not lose respect in the eyes of another when one apologises. An important thing to keep in mind is to maintain the tone of the voice, it should remain constant. Voice modulations can lead to conveying mistaken ideas which can result in feelings of one person being superior to another. Apologizing can pave way for a better relationship in the coming times. Perceptions can be momentary and people may be impulsive. The art of apologising should be taught to children from a young age onwards.

Here are a few pointers towards the right approach to apologising.

  • Approach the person confidently, make eye contact and request them to spare a few minutes as you have something important to discuss.
  • While maintaining an even tone, state what you have to. You could say “I have been thinking about this incident for some time and this is what I feel about it. Maybe I acted on an impulse and it was not right on my part. I hope we can put this behind us and move forward.” Notice that the word “sorry” has not been used here.
  • Saying “I am sorry” does not push you off a cliff down below. Yet some people are not comfortable using it. For them, the above-mentioned method might work.
  • Apologising in the right way brings you peace and calm. You are free from baggage and overload on your mind.
  • Apologising does not mean that you have lost or are in any way inferior. It is just a way of moving on carrying peace in your heart.
  • If you do not receive a positive response, it is absolutely fine. Do not regret your act and repent. People are free to hold onto their opinions. Do not go back holding a grudge against them.
  • Apologising is undertaken for your growth and evolution as a person.


I did not realise that we had been speaking for over an hour as my little boy was glued to our conversation. As he got up hurriedly to leave for his music classes, he said, “Mum, I need to apologise to a few people too, Now that I know this, I am eager to do it.” This brought a smile on my face and as I watched him leave the house humming his favourite song, my heart swelled with pride.


You live once after all, why not live it well? Apologising is good for the mind, body and soul. Don’t wait or hesitate anymore. Go right ahead, break the shackles and set yourself free.

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Blog Posts

Mixed Emotions

Posted by Shi on September 18, 2017 at 6:27pm 0 Comments

Can't seem to let go. That same very little finger that held onto my hand is now loosening it's grip. Want to hold onto it tight and never let go. Don't want to feel the emptiness. A roller coaster of emotions. Knowing that letting go is inevitable and perhaps for the best. Mixed emotions of sadness sometimes overpowering the feeling content and happiness, watching the child steps towards being a man.


Posted by Isha joyce on September 18, 2017 at 2:06pm 0 Comments

Shadows never scared but the the lit skies ...
Thou it rained but tender was it's fall..
Thou it stormed yet was considerate after a while,
The sun raged but did calm ...
A hatred unknowingly known ... would never manauever to the lanes that once walked by...

A steep fall to a blind vision thou hard a hit but deep were it's impact.

Isha Joyce...


Posted by Mansi Shethji Sonik on September 17, 2017 at 7:01am 0 Comments

ખેતીનું ખૂન

ખેતીનું ખૂન મારી આખો સામે.

હું ચશમદીદ ગવાહ,

જુબાની ક્યાં આપું ?

પહેલાં ...

રસાયણો ફેંકાયા ખાતર રૂપે,

નહેરની શિરાઓ સુકાઈ, શહેરો જેવી વોટબઁકો માટે.

જમીનો કપાઈ ,

અચાનકજ નોન એગ્રિકલચર બની,

કાળી ફળદ્રૂપ ઢેફાવાળી!

બંજર બની.

વિશાળ બંગલોમાટે.

મૂંગા ઢોર જેવા ખેડૂતો

બોલવા મંડ્યા

એટલે ફાળ પડી પેટમાં


અંતે લોહીથી સીંચી જમીનને ,

આપણા ખેડૂતો ના લોહી.

માટીમાં… Continue

વર્ષોએ અનિલ અને રમેશની આંખો વચ્ચે મુંબઈ અમરેલીનો પાંચસો માઈલનો પટ્ટોપાથરી દીધો છે

Posted by on September 15, 2017 at 5:57am 0 Comments

( અનિલ ( 6 - ૧૦ -૮૫ ના દિવસે ) અમરેલી આવ્યો. લગભગ વીસ વર્દ પછી ,અમે એક જ દિવસમાં વીસ વરસ પહેલાના સમયને જીવવા બાથોડીયા માર્યા.રેલ્વે સ્ટેશન પાસે એક ઝાડની નીચે એક બાંકડો હતો ત્યાં અમે કાયમ બેસતા. બાંકડો અને ઝાડ અમારા સુખ કરતા દુઃખના વધુ…


સીધું સટ - 2

Posted by a. j tanna on September 14, 2017 at 6:48am 0 Comments

રોજ સવારે છાપામાં લૂંટ, ખૂન, રેપ, અપહરણ, હડતાલ, લાંચ, છેતરપિંડી, છેડતી, લડાઇ - ઝગડા.. વિશે વાંચુ ત્યારે વિચાર આવે કે આટલાં બધાં ઉત્તમ, સુઘડ, સંસ્કાર,નારી સન્માન..વગેરે વિશે watsapp માં viral થતાં msgs કોઈ પરગ્રહવાસી કરતા હશે..!
-અલ્પા જીતેશ તન્ના

સીધું સટ - 1

Posted by a. j tanna on September 14, 2017 at 6:38am 0 Comments

પાણી થી ભરેલાં રસ્તાઓ પર વાહનો ચલાવતાં ચલાવતાં જે લોકોને આજુબાજુ ચાલતાં લોકો નજર નથી આવતાં ખરેખર તેમનાં મગજમાં મોટા ગાબડાં હશે..

-અલ્પા જીતેશ તન્ના

Words Not Spoken

Posted by Aparna Mukherjee on September 14, 2017 at 4:35am 0 Comments

A change I can feel,

My world came to a standstill,

No clue of how,

It happened to me.

It took me by surprise,

The glitz when I see in my eyes.

Love silently knocked my heart,

Feelings I was unaware,

A phase I thought to be so,

The depth I never came to know.

To say him the unsaid words,

Finally when I realize,

And then I get to rise,

Words fell short,

His eyes when met with me,

A surge of love ran through… Continue

વરસો અનરાધાર...

Posted by Ketan Motla on September 13, 2017 at 11:48am 0 Comments

જીતવું માણસનો સ્વભાવ છે. કોઈપણ ક્ષેત્રમાં સિદ્ધિ પ્રાપ્ત કરવી, સફળ થવું હર કોઈને પસંદ હોય છે. તમારી આવડત કૌશલ્ય દ્વારા રમત જીતી શકાય. વળી, પૈસાથી ભૌતિક સુખ પ્રાપ્ત કરી શકાય પરંતુ માણસને જીતવાનું સાધન માત્ર ને માત્ર પ્રેમ છે.

માનવમાત્રને પ્રેમ કરો. પ્રત્યેક જીવ પર કરુણા રાખો. સામેની વ્યક્તિ તમને ગમે તેટલી નફરત કરે પરંતુ આપણે પ્રેમનો પ્રવાહ અવિરત રાખવો.…



Posted by Janki Raval Jani on September 13, 2017 at 9:27am 0 Comments

અનંત અથાગ અસીમ અને અપાર

શબ્દો ની મર્યદા બસ થઇ છે પૂરી

પ્રેમ ની માપણી તોયે છે અધુરી


સુરજ નો તાપ ને ચન્દ્ર ની શીતળતા

વચ્ચે આમની છે સૃષ્ટિ તમામ

આની પણ પર છે પ્રેમ તારો

એને મારા શત શત પ્રણામ


જન્મ નું રુદન ને મરણ નું આક્રંદ

જીવન ની બસ આ જ છે વ્યાખ્યા

રંગ પૂર્યા છે તે આમાં અનેક

તું જ મારી વ્યાસપીઠ ને વ્યાખ્યાતા


ઝરણાં ની મીઠાશ ને સમુદ્ર ની ખારાશ

જુદા એકમેક થી છતાં જરૂરી સમાન



Walk by me...

Posted by Isha joyce on September 13, 2017 at 4:02am 0 Comments

Walk not ahead of me nor behind but besides ..and hold me before a fall..
If I trip dust awaits while being held the heavens beckon..
Listen to a silence of words thou wants to say yet fears the say..
A shoulder to lean while the weight of these tears stream in..
Isha joyce..

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